"Ski Reviews:"

3rd January 2011

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YO. New Year’s.

I’ve never really been big on New Year’s Resolutions. I’ve always held the philosophy of “if you want your fat ass to lose weight, don’t wait until New Year’s Day to start your diet.” I’ve always looked at it as an excuse for people to change something about themselves for two weeks. It’s a social activity so that you’ll have something to talk about with your friends.

But, I think I kinda see why it’s a sort of big thing. I mean, New Year’s is supposed to be a new beginning. A re-beginning for most people. But, while it is an excuse, it’s also a psychological prompt for everyone to begin making a change that they’ve always wanted to make. Or maybe not necessarily a change, but a beginning. I mean, don’t planned events always go better than unplanned ones? I mean, like in the film business: a bad production equals bad pre-production. And vice versa. The more time you spend thinking about how you’re going to do something, the better it becomes.

But that’s not necessarily what people do for their New Year’s Resolution. They usually just make up some bullshit to tell their friends and talk about, but when it comes time to stop eating the cookies so that Delores’ fat ass can lose some weight, (notice I picked a name that none of the women I know have) she decides that it won’t hurt if no one’s looking.

You see, they don’t keep up with it. Sure for the month of, say, the first two weeks of January they keep it up, but you never hear anyone saying, “well I can’t have any cupcakes because of my New Year’s Resolution” in July. That’s why I never make one. Because I know that I’m not gonna keep up with it. It’s a pointless social activity.

Well, this year, I’m gonna change that. Not only is my New Year’s Resolution to actually do my New Year’s Resolution, but I have an actual thing that I am going to do. I am committing myself to a New Year’s Resolution. I’m gonna do it. And it’s gonna be biblical.

At first, I decided that my New Year’s Resolution was to make one YouTube video a week and earn 500 subscribers by the end of the year. But, you know, I don’t really think I’m ready for that. And I don’t think that I’m able to make that commitment right now. Maybe in a couple of months.

So I’ve decided to revise my New Year’s Resolution. There are three parts. The first one is writing notes. To write everything that goes through my mind about what this project could be, what it might involve, and exactly how it will unfold. The second part is writing. I’m gonna write the damn thing. And the third part is editing. I’m gonna revise it, re-write it, and make any changes I deem necessary.

So my commitment. For the next year. Is to write an epic fantasy novel. You know, because I’ve been fantasizing about it for a long time. I’ve spent HOURS in this imaginary world of mine. And I now see no reason to postpone writing it now.

So let’s say that by … December 31st, 2011, I will have written a full manuscript for the first part of my epic saga, “Untitled.” Well, “Untitled” for now.

Oh yeah, feel free to ask me how it’s going throughout the year.

27th October 2010

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Ski Reviews: Fallout 3 (9.5/10)

Alright. After the release of Fallout: New Vegas, I’ve decided that maybe I should do a retro-review of Fallout 3, since opinions about all games are usually altered upon the release of sequels. (example: Kingdom Hearts. I used to think Kingdom Hearts was the shit, then Kingdom Hearts II came out, and the only reason I still liked Kingdom Hearts was because of the nostalgic feelings I got from playing it, and its coherent story. If that can be called coherent.)

So, Fallout 3. Hmm. I’m gonna give it a 9.5/10 The only things stopping me from giving it a full blown 10 is the story:

The story of Fallout 3—NOT the fallout universe—is an okay one. It’s certainly not the greatest story ever made, but then again, you don’t play video games for story. I used to think story was the most important thing to consider when buying a game, but then I realized that some of my favorite games don’t have the best stories. I mean, Fallout is the perfect example. And while it’s true that story can help a game a lot, I don’t think that story plays as big a part than most people think it does.

Let’s get this straight, we’re not watching a movie, we’re playing a video game. And while the movement to make video games more and more cinematic is happening, it’s not always necessarily making the story more cinematic. You’ll notice it a lot more in cutscenes. (Example, at the end of Mass Effect, when Joker decides it’s time to be a badass and fuck everything up for the Reapers.)

And while Mass Effect is more cinematic in its interactive cutscenes, I’d much rather use Fallout 3’s interface, in which the player’s choices as to how to develop their character directly affects what they are able to say. For example, if a player has takes the Black Widow perk, they can flirt with Mr. Burke when he tries to persuade the player into blowing up Megaton, thus avoiding the bad feelings Mr. Burke gets if you save Megaton, and receiving the good Karma for saving Megaton.

That being said, I’d give the story a solid 8.5/10. I know that seems high for what I just said about the story being okay, but with the expansion packs, the story becomes pretty epic. I mean, saving the Capital Wasteland from the remnants of the Enclave after activating a dead science project that was designed to give the people of the D.C. ruins free clean water isn’t exactly bland. It’s really the first half of the story that fails.

But who plays a game like Fallout for its story? Let’s talk about gameplay:

The gameplay is incredible. I’m still popping this game into my PS3 even after I’ve beaten it 17 times. It’s that good. I mean to give this game’s gameplay anything lower than a 10/10 would be in poor taste.

VATS (Vault-Tec Assisted Targeting System) is one of the best things I’ve seen in any RPG (I say RPG, because Fallout 3 cannot adequately be defined as an FPS. I mean the way you can use this thing to your advantage is crazy. Even if you have NO Action Points, you can still use VATS to target foes without getting shot at, since once you exit, your crosshairs are already on the enemy you were targeting in VATS. Say you’re sniping a Deathclaw, and you have some low health, but you got your trusty sniper rifle on you, and the Deathclaw is pretty far away. Well, these things are fast. But not if you cripple their legs! Cripple its legs in VATS, then shoot it till it dies in manual aiming mode. That’s how Fallout experts do it, anyway. Why do it that way when you can just blow its head apart in VATS? That’s the beauty of it, if you’re dumb enough to try that, then go for it!

Okay. Immersive quality. I’m still not sure what to call this. Maybe, “the game’s ability to allow the player to immerse his or her self into the game.” 10/10. You can create your character from scratch, right down to what s/he looks like. Not only that, but you can decide what type of person your character is. Is s/he dumb? smart? handy? good with kids (not a joke)? lucky? violent? a ladies man? good? evil? somewhere in the middle? you get my drift.

The way the Skill Points work is just incredible. Based on your Intelligence, your character get a certain amount of Skill Points to distribute over your character’s skills, like how well s/he can communicate to others, how well s/he can handle a specific type of weapon, how well s/he can pick a lock, stuff like that.

I can go on and on about how much you can become the character, but I won’t. You have to buy it and play it for yourself.

Okay. Animations. I guess, a 9/10. I mean they’re not incredible, but they get the job done. In third person view, I can believe that may character is actually running and aiming. In first person view, all of the movements of the other characters and creatures are believable. Aside from a minor tweak here or there, the animations are pretty realistic.

I’m adding a new one: challenge. This is how well the game provides a challenge to those who want it and how well the game can take that challenge away for those who don’t: 9/10. There are a few minor problems. By the time you’re level 30, your character is so powerful, that nothing presents a challenge anymore. However, the expansions of Broken Steel and Point Lookout help with this factor greatly. Both are designed for high level characters. I swear, those mutated hillbillies can soak up a lot of bullets. But before the expansions, you could literally shoot everything in the head once, and it’d die. However, put the game on Very Hard, and suddenly this factor isn’t so bad. But there’s still a little something that’s missing …

Well. Conclusion? I still get the urge to play this game even AFTER New Vegas came out. Which has only happened for one game series with me. (Uncharted). Fallout 3 is truly a masterpiece that will endure the test of time. I still don’t think I’ve explored everything that this game has to offer.

So there.

4th October 2010

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Ski Reviews: Mass Effect (8.5)

Skip to MASS EFFECT REVIEW if you don’t care about this part (which you probably shouldn’t):

So after Mass Effect 2 was announce to come out for PS3 (the only system I own) I was bombarded with people telling me to play Mass Effect and buy Mass Effect 2. I was incredibly insulted by the suggestion because for some reason, people think that I’m close-minded. Maybe it was all of those people that constantly attacked me for buying a PS3 instead of an xbox 360 THREE YEARS AGO. THREE. THREE YEARS. THREE. I was dumb for getting so defensive about my choice, but then again, fuck 360.

I think a lot of people misunderstood me. I have nothing against the games. My animosity is directed towards Microsoft and Bungie (who have both vastly improved over the past THREE YEARS.) Why am I capitalizing three years? BECAUSE A LOT CAN HAPPEN IN THREE YEARS YOU DUMB-ASS IDIOTS, LIKE SOME PEOPLE CAN CHANGE THEIR VIEWS ON HOW MUCH THEY LIKE SOMETHING AND WHATNOT AND STUFF LIKE THAT.

But seriously, the only reason I was such a fanboy was because I constantly had to deal with retarded xbox fanboys who were too ignorant to even give PS3 a chance. The only thing they had against it was (literally) “PS3 sucks.” They had literally nothing else bad they could have possibly said. At least the Red Ring of Death and the 33% failure rate (which has FINALLY been fixed) was constantly feeding ammo into my M60.

MASS EFFECT REVIEW:

So my cousin let me borrow his xbox (which, being the smart upstanding gentleman that he is, he bought AFTER Microsoft got their shit together) and his copy of Mass Effect. I’m just gonna start with my rating: I agree with GameSpot: it gets an 8.5/10.

The story is alright. Yeah you heard me: it’s ALRIGHT. It tries to be MASSively (get it?) more epic than it actually is in the beginning. The game doesn’t start being that epic until you get to Virmire (which is one of the levels toward the end of the game). But I can safely say that the game is as epic as it thinks it is from that point on until you beat it.

It’s just that there’s too much mystery shrouding Saren, The Spectres, The Council, and the Mass Effect universe as a whole for your quest for it to be nearly as epic as it tries to be. This is mainly do to the immense melodrama and overpowering soundtrack during the first third of the game. And even if you did know all about all of those things, it’s still before the characters do, which is one of the things that drives a story. The audience’s knowledge doesn’t matter, they’re not moving the story forward. There’s no change in tone (in the beginning, at least), which is another thing that drives a story. But the story still gets a 9/10 from me, which means it’s pretty damn awesome. Not the most original one, but everything else besides the maind story points are original, which makes it awesome.

Let’s move on to gameplay (contrary to popular belief, THE most important part of a game [most people tell me it’s the story, which is the second most important part {isn’t not a movie, guys}]). 10/10. Okay done.

Let’s move on to the immersive factor. I give this part maybe a 7/10. This is really the game’s weakest point. The worlds SUCK. I’m sorry Mass Effect fans, but you can’t disagree. Actually, they’re not worlds at all. They’re sub levels. Each planet has a very limited space in which you can explore, and most of that space has nothing in it. I would much rather have 4 or 5 really big worlds with big exploration factors than 40 or 50 worlds with really low exploration factors. This part of the game is where “quality, not quantity” comes into play and Mass Effect goes down the path of quantity. And I’m expecting a LOT more from Mass Effect 2. As a result, the main campaign is shorter than an ant’s dick, which is really frustrating because there are so many different things to do (simply in terms of combat) that there’s not enough time to do them all. :,(

But aside from that major factor, there are a couple of other factors that make this game less immersive (which is a good thing in one of these cases) than it could have been.

One: You play as John Shepard. Like I said, they’re good things. Sure you can customize his face and his first name and you can sort of create him, but it’s really different than a game like, say, Fallout, where you make a completely new character from scratch. And although Fallout does have a story and whatnot, it’s still your character. You can make him whatever you want him to be. John Shepard is a set character that can go down one of three paths: Paragon, Renegade, or a little of both. It’s more like Fable where you pick whether you’re good or bad and your character is either a celebrated hero or a douche bag. In a game like Fallout, you can literally build the psychology of your character from (once again, literally) the day s/he is born.

I think it’s because the game tries to be both customizable AND have a set character. And it just doesn’t work. Either let me create my character from scratch or make the character for me. Don’t give me this in between shit.

The other reason? Well. It was too short. Way too short. I didn’t have enough time to fully familiarize myself with the world and characters. There were characters that I used on literally one mission (Wrex [after I used him that whore Ashley killed him]) and I didn’t use one of them at all (Liara). I didn’t use Tali until I got to the part where you have to choose between Ashley and Kaiden, so I counted her for half of a mission.

Finally the animations. I give the animations an 8/10. Why? Because they’re SHIT in the cutscenes. “Let me stand here doing nothing while I say my lines. I am a stone wall. A lot of my lines lack emotion, don’t they? Oh dear.” But during the gameplay, they’re good.

Look, there is absolutely NO gesturing during dialog. But, this IS something that I’ve seen BioWare improve on (Dragon Age and most likely in Mass Effect 2 as well).

You might dismiss the importance of animations, but in any game, they’re one of the most important factors. It’s really hard to get attached to lifeless characters, ESPECIALLY when you’re noticing how they lack animation when they speak to each other. 

Final score: 8.5/10

Since this is my first game review, I’m tweaking the reviewing process. I’ve taken the four factors that I think are most important in a game: Gameplay, Story, Immersive Quality, and Animation (these factors DO vary from game to game). If you think I missed any factors, please say so. The reason I don’t count graphics is because, while impressive, I don’t feel they are a very important factor when playing a video game. For instance, KillZone 2 has far better graphics than Mass Effect, but I would rather play Mass Effect because the graphics are good enough to not really notice them. In other words, as long as you don’t notice that they’re terrible, that means they’re good and you don’t really pay attention to them otherwise.

Have a suggestion for a game or movie you’d like me to review? Ask me on my Facebook page: facebook.com/MattSki.whostolemyname and I’ll try to get around to playing/watching it.

4th October 2010

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Ski Reviews: The Social Network

Okay. After I saw this, the two people that I saw it with thought it was amazing.

Now before you start yelling, let me first explain that my feelings towards this movie are different than what that first statement makes my feelings seem. And let me first say that I was never a fan of nonfiction that’s set in the past 50 years unless it’s a war movie or something that takes place in a world I’m not familiar with (which is strange because I have absolutely no problem with realistic fiction. Maybe it’s because the real world isn’t exactly the most exciting place).

I thought the movie was good. But it’s really a one time watch. For me at least. I don’t think I’d be able to watch it again. It’s a very slow burn and it’s long. It’s not immersive like Avatar or Star Trek and it’s not immersive like The Hurt Locker or Slumdog Millionaire, either. It takes place in a world we already live in. I would much rather read a news article about it.

However, Jesse Eisenberg is amazing in it. I think he portrays Mark Zuckerburg exactly the way that David Fincher wanted him to (because I don’t think Mark Zuckerburg is that big of a douche bag in real life). The other actors were okay I guess. Rashida Jones probably had the second best performance. Or maybe Bryan Barter (his best friend).

And there was a little montage set to Hall of the Mountain King that was completely unnecessary but really freaking awesome. Seriously, that could be a music video.

One problem I had was that in the beginning it was a little hard to follow. It switches back between the deposition and the events that transpired throughout the film. It was a little hard to distinguish past from present, but once you figure out that only the deposition scenes are in the present it was cool.

I really thought the film was going to be more about the social part and less about the network part. That whole “capturing a generation” tagline is bullshit. More like “capturing an incredibly small minority of this generation that just so happens to be the richest part of it.” which I thought was better. I didn’t really care about the social part, now that I think about it. I already know those stories.

All in all, it was interesting, but not exactly the masterpiece everyone says it is. Maybe I wasn’t in the mood for a movie or maybe I was expecting a lot more, but I give it an 8.5.

19th September 2010

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HELP!

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FINALLY: watch both my videos and rate ‘em (thumbs up, please?)

THANKS I LOVE YOU.

17th September 2010

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Ski Reviews: Spartacus (S01E01-E13)

SPARTACUS! WOW. I mean, really—WOW. You gotta give Starz credit, they have a keeper. 

After the first episode, I thought: “Meh, this show is alright. There’s way too much nudity and the acting is atrocious, it’s only saving grace is John Hannah, Lucy Lawless, and Andy Whitfield. But all of the other actors just bring em all down.” The only thing that brought me back to watch the second episode was the action, which was beautifully executed. As far as I was concerned it was one of those mindless shows that was only bearable because of how good its action sequences were. Because let’s face it: most mindless action movies or TV shows don’t have great action sequences. (Resident Evil—case in point.) But this one did it right.

Then I watched the second episode. As far as I’m concerned, this is where the show began. The first episode was like the first chapter in The Hobbit: boring and unnecessary. Actually, I’m still debating on that.

There’s a lot that occurs in the first episode that drives the story forward, but that doesn’t mean you can’t sympathize with Spartacus when he’s distraught about his missing wife. You don’t necessarily need to establish his wife as a character. But then again, she’s not the only aspect of episode one. There is also the Legatus and his wife, Ilythia, who play major roles in the events that follow. But did they really need to be established that early in the season? They don’t really play a big role until later in the series. Ilythia does show up earlier in the series, but she could have easily been established at that point in the season. But then there was that whole relationship between Spartacus and the Legatus. Well, it doesn’t really matter, episode one got made, and I’ve talked to myself for long enough.

This show gets really emotionally intense. I was surprised with just how deep into the psychology of a Gladiator this show goes. The relationships between Spartacus and The Dominus (John Hannah) and Crixus and Varro and even Doctore (Peter Mensah, that’s right, the messenger from 300) are incredibly complex. So much happens between them that spurs so much. Don’t worry I’m not going to ruin anything.

Jupiter’s cock, I almost forgot about Ashur. ASHUR. By far my favorite character of the show. He has got to be the most likable villain in television history. He’s more likable than Heroes’ Sylar. It’s almost like I’m in love with him. If you watch the show you know what I mean. And if you plan on watching it, you’ll see what I mean.

Bottom line? The writers are geniuses. There are too many twists to count. The role flips are crazy. The twists are amazing. The changes that the characters go through are always fully realized and well played out—no matter how minor the character is. It’s subtle yet in your face. This is how I will describe it: It’s pretty fucking awesome.

In a nutshell: you come for the action, but stay for the drama … and the action.